8.27.2011

A Letter to 16-Year-Old Me



When I was 16, my life was in shambles. I was the typical teenage girl in lots of ways. I was obsessed with boys, loved spending time with my friends, studying hard for university, and enjoyed having fun. But, I was also hurting, and making many bad choices. If I could write a letter to myself at 16, this is what I would say:

Dear Bri,

There are some things that you have been longing to hear this past year, so I'm going to tell them to you:
You're smart
You're brave
You're strong
You are resilient

You'll get to university, so don't worry so much about making the money to get there, and don't worry so much about what you'll do when you get there. You won't figure that out until Third Year anyway.

You have had to endure a lot in 16-years. Some things that only a handful of people know. Sometimes you long to tell the world of all the things that you've endured. You don't need to. Just focus on helping others, and using your story when necessary.

You're going to make a ton of mistakes. You've already made a ton. You will overcome it all. Don't let your head get too big though. You'll come far, but not on your own strength.

That leads to my next point, you will find your way back to Jesus again. You have been scrambling for a while now, trying to get back to him. I wish that you had never fallen away. I wish that you had remained steadfast in your faith through all these tumultuous years. But, you don't. He will draw you to Himself in a few years. You will marry a man of faith. I know that you worry about that one a lot. You're scared of marrying a man that doesn't love Jesus. Your husband loves you so much, but he loves the Lord more. Happy? I am.

I won't bother telling you to avoid certain things, or people. I don't want to feel like I have regrets. I don't, because we wouldn't be who we are without our past. But, there are plenty of things that I wish hadn't happened.

I wish that you loved yourself more.
I wish that you respected your body, and your heart.
I wish that you were more discerning with who you associated with.
I wish that you respected your mother, and even your friends more.
I wish that you didn't put yourself in dangerous situations.
I wish that you protected your body, that you saved your body for your doting husband.
I wish that you were involved at church, and that you read your bible and prayed daily.
I wish that you quit your job (and you know why).
I wish that you spent more time with your friends from school, and fostered those friendships.
I wish that you auditioned for a high school play, because you would have been great.
I wish that you never quit Field Hockey, because you would have loved it.
I wish that you spent more time with your mom, because you're going to leave home so soon.

I wish that you knew now, what I know now.

In the end though, you overcome this life that you're living. God seeks you in your darkest and loneliest moment, and you follow him. You love him, and you live for him. I don't know what the future holds, just as you don't know now. But, I know that it will be filled with your passion to serve Christ. Most importantly, it will be filled with grace. Something that we will always need.

Love,

Brianna
Age 21


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