11.19.2011

What do I do now?

This week I was laid-off from my job. In case you were wondering, these are the tough times that we're experiencing when I blogged Get Wise: In Tough Times this week. I have been expecting to be laid-off for awhile now. To clarify, being laid-off means that you lost your job due to budgetary cuts and not due to performance. Being fired means you lost your job because you sucked at it (or stole too many paper clips -- or whatever it may be).

Either way, being laid-off sucks. Being laid-off when you are 4-months pregnant really sucks. I know that it is only God who gave me the ability to work the rest of this week and not completely freak out. I know that it's God who will give me the strength to live on the same campus for the next 6-months as my "old work". I know that it is God that will give both Daniel and I the strength to continue to pay tuition to an institution that used to also provide us with a pay cheque. And a hefty tuition at that (not so much a hefty pay cheque).

There are so many emotions that I have dealt with this week. Anger. Fear. Disbelief. Hurt. Acceptance. Relief. Yes, even relief, because this baby-mama is exhausted and wouldn't mind taking a little break.

What do we do now? That's a question I keep asking myself over and over. I have decided that I will not embark on an intense job search. How can I? I am 4-months pregnant, and only getting more pregnant by the day. This week I've also had a few wake-up calls. A few nights after I was laid-off, I woke up at 3am extremely sick. I was up most of the night sicker than I have ever been. I think it's mostly due to a combination of being pregnant and being stressed, but it made me realize that I need to chill-out. Nothing is so important that I risk the health of my baby, and my own health. So, I am going to chill-out.

There's no doubt that these next few months will be very, very tough for Daniel and I. Daniel is working part-time, plus in his final year of university, plus leading a small group, plus helping out with our church, plus, plus plus..how much else can I expect from my husband?

I'm going to try to find odd-jobs here and there. Perhaps work the Christmas rush at a retail store. Perhaps do some baby-sitting. Wherever God leads me I'll go.

This whole experience has taught me that I really, really like my independence. Before this happened Daniel and I were paying some extremely expensive bills on our own. We are living on our own. We have our own car. We are standing on our own feet. But, our feet are collapsing from beneath us and I don't think we can be so independent right now. I'm praying that the Lord would give us the ability to continue to do most of what we're doing on our own (always with the Lord's provision). I'm also praying that most importantly, we'll be fully-independent by the time the baby arrives. If you could pray that Daniel would have a wonderful full-time job by May 2012, that would be amazing.

This is all very personal, so I don't know why I'm sharing it on here. I don't want certain people even knowing I don't have a job, but perhaps now they'll find out. I guess I need the prayers more than I need my pride.

:) Thanks to everybody who reads this blog and supports me. I love the kind comments that I receive, you are awesome. You just may be reading a lot more from me now..

6 comments:

  1. So so sorry Hun.
    This is a rough season, no doubt. But you know God has allowed it and I'm proud if you- hearing you respond so Biblicallt.
    You have grown into SUCH a woman of faith.
    Praise praise Jesus :)

    Will Daniel be cutting back at the church? Seems the only place he has some flexibility, eh? Praying for you guys as you decide what's next.
    And any big baby items you can't afford, don't worry I'm sure there are people who can lend them out- you can just buy them for your 2nd babe.

    Let me know sooner to the birth what you still need.
    By then well be done with our baby bjorn and bumbo seat and infant car seat and I'd be happy to lend them to you.

    Lots of love
    Em

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  2. It is in these trials that the Lord has our keenest attention. I say this from much personal experience in this area. I HATE that the Lord had to take me to such a place in my own life, but I praise His name for all He has taught me through the trials. Lean hard on Him - He will carry you through in miraculous ways. Rely on your Christian friends for support - prayers and practical stuff.

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  3. I'm so sorry to hear that Brianna.

    I will continue to pray for your family - both you and Dan, and your future baby.

    In times like these we need to remember that if God has lead us to it (situation), then He will lead us through it.

    Blessings to you and your family.

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  4. You would definitely be able to find a retail job somewhere, as many places hire new staff members for the holidays. And if you're hired on part-time you can have some pretty short and flexible hours which might be nice for you. Stay strong you two, it'll all work out.

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  5. Brianna, even tho we live in different countries...and dont even speak the same language..and have never met for real...Ive got you as a friend and I love coming here and reading about you, your life...your ideas, your thoughts and even about you personal things and issues. Im crying to be honest, im really emotional I know...and I really think you deserve the best and Im pretty sure everything happens for a reason in this life. Dont worry, everything will be ok. Iam praying for you and never lose your hopes. :) He will get the full time job when its time for him to deal with it. Always remember you were given this life because you are strong enough to live it. I love this quote and it cheers me up whenever Im feeling down. Everything will be ok, you will see. In no time you will post something really happy and will be thankful that everything happened THE WAY it was, even the bad ones. Lots of love, Gabi

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  6. Thanks everyone for all of your love and support!! Emily -- I'll get in touch with you soon about that. We would love to borrow some items later on if we don't have them yet. Gabi -- you are too sweet!!! Everything is working out and it's just giving me a chance to rest and get my feet up! :) Thanks for your encouragement my friend!

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