1.16.2012

I Idolize Comfort

Recently I spoke with a friend about an issue that I have been having with comfort.
Ever since I became pregnant, and to a certain degree even before, I have been idolizing comfort.
When I say comfort I mean:

-being comfortable physically, emotionally and spiritually
-not reaching beyond my comfort zone
-not pushing myself if I’m feeling tired or just plain don’t want to do something

I idolize comfort because I cling to comfort instead of clinging to my Saviour Jesus. I allow comfort to seep into my life and take away many, many opportunities to serve and honour Christ. You could say that the result of my idolizing comfort is laziness. I cringe at that word, because to me it is so ugly and I don’t want to be characterized as lazy. I am done making excuses for my laziness.

The only way to overcome my idol comfort or to rid of the lazy characteristic is to cling to Jesus and honour and serve him. For so long I have been focusing on how I can do better, or be better, if I could just overcome this problem. I chose to look at behaviour as a motivator instead of getting to the root of the issue (my heart and its desire to serve something, even if it’s something silly like comfort). 

So here I am, admitting the sin within my heart on my very public blog. I want to change, but I also need to get to the heart of the matter. I can’t do that on my own, even though I’ve been trying and trying to for so long. I need Jesus to change my heart, and the only way that He can do that is if I surrender my life, my time, and my heart to him. I must choose to honour Jesus and worship Jesus instead of honouring my comfort and worshipping it.

This week I have experienced both victories and failures in this area. The victories happen when I lay down my day before God, and seek him. The failures happen when I don’t seek God and try to figure this all out on my own.

Some practical ways that I am seeking the Lord to change me:

1.      My Small Groups:
We attend a wonderful Small Groups almost every Friday night. My Small Groups has helped me so much by keeping me accountable, blessing me in many ways, and just encouraging me in my walk with the Lord. I am the “baby” of the group, and sometimes that means that I simply allow myself to be comfortable as the “baby” instead of truly engaging or even worshipping alongside my wonderful friends as I should. I’m seeking the Lord to change me by:
Praying a loud more in our group. I’m afraid of praying a loud, so this is a big thing for me. I know I can only overcome this through Jesus.
Actively engaging in conversation within the group. This means coming there each Friday night prepared to discuss. I can do this by prayerfully reading the questions of our study and answering them each week. Praying to the Lord what he would have me contribute each week.
Spending time in prayer during the week for my Small Groups. Bringing my friends before the Lord each week in prayer is important, and by doing this I know I’ll be worshipping and honouring the Lord as well as fostering a deeper love for those so important to me.
Attending Small Groups each week. I get tired, and I don’t prioritize my group as I should. This week right before leaving for Small Groups I smashed my hand against the wall (accidentally). My hand was hurting so badly, and I just wanted to stay home. My husband told me I was being silly (because I was) and that of course we’re going. I’m so glad that I went and know that if I had chosen to stay home I would have felt miserable. The Lord honours our obedience to him in the smallest ways, and he’s proven that to me time and time again.

2.      My Church
Some of you may know that we’re part of a church plant in Niagara. Daniel has been faithfully serving at our church since it started October 2011. When I became pregnant and sick I missed church so much because the 45-minute drive made me feel so ill. At times, skipping church was justified. Now that I’m feeling better though, it’s not justified to skip or remain uninvolved in our church. I’m seeking the Lord to change me by:
Attending church every.single.weekend. It sounds so ridiculous. But, I truly struggle each Sunday at 7:00am when our alarm goes off. This Sunday I had a terrible sleep. My back ached. I wasn’t ready to wake up. But, I wanted to honour Jesus and serve him. I woke up and by 7:30am I was feeling alert and even energetic. The Lord blessed me and I had an amazing Sunday!
Actively participating on Sunday’s. This weekend was also the first time that I actually served at church. It was amazing getting to know the kids and even meeting new people. I was able to see my husband teach the children a Bible lesson, something I haven’t seen before. It’s an honour to serve the Lord, and his children in our Children’s Ministry, and this is something I didn’t even recognize until this weekend.
Making friends. I am a very, very shy person. I find it very difficult to talk to people I don’t know. I need to seek the Lord to give me courage and boldness at church so that I can speak with people and make new friends with fellow believers.

3.      At Home
Lately, I have been noticing a very destructive pattern occurring in my home. I wake up late, sometimes I don’t get dressed all day. I lounge around and watch TV, or read, or mindlessly surf the web. I waste time doing nothing important. I want the Lord to use my time at home to produce fruit, I want to be diligent and work hard in my home by:
Being disciplined spiritually. There is no reason I can’t spend time in God’s Word daily, pray daily for my family and friends, and worship the Lord throughout my day. The days that I seek God in the morning and pray to him are the days that I bask in his presence all day. These are the beautiful and blessed days, and they need to be every day.
Caring for our home. This week I have made a point of not asking for my husband to help me around the house. Why should my husband have to wash the dishes after school and working all day? He shouldn’t! I have been seeking the Lord to change my heart towards wanting to serve my family by taking hold of my home and diligently serving my husband with good meals and a clean house. It may sound a bit old-fashioned to you, but I am home all day.
Using my time wisely. I have been praying that God would show me how to use my time. Some days, I just don’t know what to do. I want to watch a movie on Netflix. I want to finish the latest Hunger Games book. I want to take a nap. I’m learning to balance my day. This doesn’t mean I don’t do any of these things, but I need to also seek out ways to serve God in my day. This could be reading a book on being a godly wife, or writing a blog/reading a blog that is centered on Him, or exercising to keep my body healthy, and the list can go on!

I know that this has been a long blog and I appreciate if you’re still with me! I’m confessing this sin on here because I want to be held accountable, and I hope to write more about how God is changing me. It’s not about washing the dishes, or serving in Children’s Ministry, or talking in my Small Group. It’s about serving Jesus and acting in a way that is honouring to Him. It’s about drawing near to him. That’s all I have to do: surrender and draw near. He does the rest. He changes me, he gives me the desire to serve him in small groups, in church, and at home.

I also want to clarify that my primary role right now is at home, serving Jesus and my family. Soon, I will have a baby in my arms. I will probably miss church for awhile and Small Groups. This doesn’t make me bad or sinful. However, I need to ensure that a period of time doesn’t turn into a pattern for my life. I need to seek God and how he would use me each day.

Do you think you could be idolizing comfort? E-mail me at thisrookiewife@gmail.com. I’d love to chat with you as a friend who is also seeking the Lord in overcoming this!




                      

1 comment:

  1. good for you girl.

    that idol sneaks into my life too, and I pray that we would both overcome it by He who has overcome the world!

    it may sound daunting now, but a time will SOON come where you have a lot more holding you back from attending church/small group, caring for yourself and home, and being in the word daily. A baby! So nows the time to start the discipling of putting sin to death, namely casting down the idol of comfort. I say this to myself first and foremost, don't feel alone!

    ps - a time will also come where it's totally justified to ask for help around the house, Brad has become the resident floor cleaner in our house! at the end of the week, mopping is just not possible for me right now, so he does it :)

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