6.18.2012

My Story: Part 9 [Penelope]

This is the final installment of the series: My Story. You can find all 9 posts under My Ministry.

After meeting Daniel in 2009, getting engaged in 2010, and marrying him in 2011, we had our first child in 2012. We spent months preparing for the birth of our daughter. We watched videos on birthing a child. We listened to sermons on raising godly kids. We read books about caring for a newborn. We talked to our friends and family and asked lots of questions. In the end, nothing prepared us for being parents as much as actually being parents.

The moment our daughter entered the world we learned what it truly means to be a parent. We love our daughter with a fierce and unconditional love. We learned that our love for our child is unlike any other love we have ever experienced.

Over the past month I have been simply enjoying my daughter. The first week was really hard, mostly because of the sleeplessness. But, once we started getting into a routine I started to simply enjoy these moments with my child.
I know that she will grow fast (she already is!)
I know she will not need me the way she does now for very long
I know that it won't be so simple to calm her cries, or ease her anxiety in years to come
I know our mother daughter relationship won't always be so uncomplicated
I know this newborn stage of mostly bliss won't last forever, so I'm hanging on to the time I have now.

I spent so much of my life looking to the future. As a high school student, I anxiously looked to university and freedom. As a single woman I longed for a man to complete me. When I met my husband I wished away each stage of our relationship: courtship, engagement, and even early marriage. I always looked to the future and what I didn't have. My entire life, my entire story, has been characterized by longing for what wasn't yet mine.

Now, I have the marriage and the family that I always hoped for. But, I know that it's so tempting to still look at what I don't have. A home of my own. A freelance writing job. More children. There will always be something to long for, and to dream of.

Right now, I'm watching my one-month-old daughter sleeping peacefully in her swing. I'm choosing to live in the moment. I'm choosing to cherish every moment. Every feed. Every diaper change. Every snuggle. Every quiet moment. All of these moments are worthy of my attention. God should be honoured and glorified for this chance he's given me, to be a mother and wife to this little family of mine.

This isn't even close to the end. Giving birth to my daughter Penelope, I have given birth to a new story. A new legacy: the legacy of my little girl Penelope Rose. May I honour God through raising this precious life.

1 comment:

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